SOUTH RIVER – When Susan Arnold’s father was diagnosed with cancer, she didn’t know what to expect, so she set out to learn.
“I’m one of those who likes to do a lot of research,” said Arnold, South River’s clerk-administrator.
Unfortunately, while there are many self-help books for people with cancer, very few include anything to assist their families. What Arnold found was usually a chapter for families, advising them on what their loved one is going through, how to talk to someone with cancer, and the suggestion that they look after their own health. A Google search presented the same limited information.
“There’s not really any practical advice as to what you might come across,” said Arnold.
The truth is, families do go through a great deal. This was something Arnold did not appreciate until she experienced it first-hand. While her father, Harold Clark, fought lung cancer for seven months, she kept a journal as a way of coping. That journal eventually became a book.
Titled A Bump in the Road: One Family’s Journey with Cancer, the book follows the experiences of Arnold’s family during the course of Harold’s illness, along with everything they learned. One of the first lessons was that the emotional difficulties do not begin with the death of a loved one, or even late in the illness. They start with the diagnosis and quickly creep into every aspect of life.
“Your emotions are all over the map,” said Arnold. “The future doesn’t exist and the past is right there in your face. It’s a whole spectrum of emotions.”
Arnold describes the feeling of being told there was no hope, then told that treatment might be possible, and then having the rug yanked out yet again when it wasn’t.
Other lessons are more practical. Take notes at the doctor’s office, because you won’t remember everything later.
Be aware of existing medical conditions. Harold’s doctors were repeatedly bothered by his low blood pressure, while his family knew that it had been low since his youth.
Use common sense. When Harold was released with a bag of medication, more than he’d ever taken before, his family took the time to determine what each was, and saved him from a potentially lethal reaction.
“Don’t just assume the doctors are right,” said Arnold. “Pay attention.”
But A Bump in the Road is not a typical self-help book. It’s the story of a real family going through a real experience. The lessons are found within that experience.
Another very important lesson is not to underestimate the patient. Harold lived to be 73 – a young 73 according to Arnold – and approached his impending death with the view that he had fared better than many. He had enjoyed many good years, and gotten to know his grandchildren. His philosophy was akin to the words in Psalm 90, that a typical life is “three score and ten” years. He saw each year over 70 as a gift.
“He was amazing,” said Arnold. “He pulled us through it.”
Arnold published her book through iUniverse, a self-publishing company connected to Barnes & Noble. For a fee, iUniverse can provide not only printing, but also editing, graphic design and marketing services, as well as professional advice. Arnold’s book is available online through chapters.ca, amazon.ca and bn.com, as well as the South River Kwik-Way, which, as of press time, is temporarily sold out. Arnold is surprised at how well her book has been selling.
“I had no idea people would be interested in it, outside of my immediate family,” she said.
Indeed, it appears as if A Bump in the Road has actually gone from costing money to earning royalties, the measure of a successful book. Once Arnold realized this, she decided that the royalties would go to an appropriate charity. Any money earned from the book will be donated to Camp Trillium, which operates programs for children with cancer and their families. A very family-oriented man, Harold would certainly have approved.
Arnold is glad that someone else will benefit, and said that profiting from a family tragedy was never an option for her.
“It wouldn’t feel right,” she said.
As to whether she ever thought her personal writings would make a good book, Arnold said that the journal was really just her own way of processing the things that were happening to her family. She started it for herself.
“It just kind of snowballed.”
Editorial
